Why Tom Fallows is NOT Watching the WATCHMEN
There are perhaps several reasons of why not to see this month's release of Warner Bros' WATCHMEN. Firstly it's produced by a major studio, who's risk aversion, play-it-safe strategy goes completely at odds with the narratives view of sadomasochistic superheroes (although they have thrown in some slow-mo violence so that probably made it ok).
Secondly it's directed by the fella who missed the point of Romero's DAWN OF THE DEAD and somehow managed to make Frank Miller's300 even more fascistic (unbelievable I know). Add to that the fact that its been raped into a consumer cash cow (check out the Watchmen lunchboxes and Rorschach action figures!), been deemed unfilmible by genre heavy weight Terry Gilliam, written by the guy who also penned THE SCORPION KING and, interestingly had Zach the director already tell us that the DVD will be better.
But, of course, none of this really matters. Any film, regardless of how auspicious the origins, has the potential to be worthwhile. After all, this is also a project based on the work of one of the greatest writers of the late 20th century. But then that's the problem, innit? Go and see the movie, and you won't find the name Alan Moore anywhere. And for that reason, I'll be staying at home.
I've been reading the work of Alan Moore since I was about 12 (not that I was incredibly advanced or anything, just that he wrote a comic with Batman in it) and since then his writings have been constantly by my side.
As a teenager I dug the ferocious anarchy of V for Vendtta But as an adult Im still engaged, and perhaps even horrified, at how astute the comic was regarding modern Britain. For me From Hell used to be a cool horror story where you got to see people naked, now I see it as an explosive study of modern violence and government suppression (It also happens to be one of the finest novels written about the Whitechapel murders).
Y'see Moore has always been there for me; as a sort of creative and spiritual guide. He's like one of those teachers who inspires you to think for yourself, to read great novels, to watch great films and who can blow your mind with a word. He's never spoken down to me or spoon fed his ideas - and he can make me laugh like I just heard the killing joke.
The release of From Hell in 2001 left me giddy. A film based on an Alan Moore story! I love film; I love Alan Moore - what could go wrong? And Moore for his part (who has since been derided as a "crotchety old hippy" by ungrateful fan boys) was equally optimistic, stating:
Ive accepted that the film is only going to have a coincidental connection with my book. The Hughes brothers are good directors and I think Johnny Depp appears in some remarkable films.
But then that was before. FROM HELL was a mess - a mockney music video staring a gimmicky actor who has since gone on to become one of the most overrated stars of his generation. Worse than that, Depp was becoming a Disney poster boy; a saturnine anti-establishment figure for people with two cars parked in the garage.
Despite his knowledge that the film wouldnt be the comic, Moore was understandably peeved. The changes made to FROM HELL (the overemphasis on the romantic subplot, the casting of Heather Graham, the by-the-numbers narrative) were the kind made to accommodate the biggest audience possible - from bankers in the Midwest to teenagers out on a first date.
Aside from these disparate film fans, 20th Century Fox also wanted the holy grail of movie audiences the teenage male with a disposable income.
To a lot of these kids (at that time me included) Moore was a kind of magical shaman who could burn ideas directly into your pulsing brain. The studios knew this and when they began buying up his work, it wasnt the stories they wanted, it was the name Alan Moore. They wanted to turn him into a brand, and to their horror, he wasnt going to take it lying down.
LXG aka THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN was a nightmare a bad acid trip a distorted hallucination where friends become enemies and everything that is beautiful becomes weird and deranged. It pissed Moore off enough to insist his name be taken off every subsequent film adaptation of his work. Hed refuse payment too and see that every penny went to the artist. It wasnt easy.
And so in a single gesture Alan Moore had lived up to everything he ever promised. He had defined what is to be an artist and to care about the work above all else. Filmmaker Alex Cox once stated that an artist must, take a vow of poverty, in order to remain free from petty bureaucrats and unnecessary compromise.
In fact Moore was doing this in comics too, leaving DC for the less despotic Top Shelf Productions. Today integrities a dirty word so long as theres a steady pay check in it, most people will do whatever you say. Its the way of the world right?
But Moore showed another way, a way where stories are important ideas the only commodity with any value. So I made a vow with him (not actually in person, though we are both Midlands boys him from Northampton, me from Stoke) which in hindsight was a pretty feeble gesture on my part.
My vow was to not pay to see any of these supposed adaptations (feeble because I knew this would allow me catch them later on TV). No, Sir the studio conglomerates wouldnt be getting my hard earned money this time (not over this). And so, pathetic as my vow was, I still managed to stick to it and later watched both LXG and CONSTANTINE - based on the character created by Moore in The Saga of the Swamp Thing Issue #37- on terrestrial television.
As a side note, I found CONSTANTINE harder to bear. Mainly because the character from the comics was one of the mediums finest creations a smart arsed working class Londoner who jobs around as a psychic detective and to see him played so vacantly and portentously by Keanu Reeves was akin to having the devil pluck out my eyeballs and use them in a game of miniature golf.
But as bad as these films were (and by God they were bad) it was V FOR VENDETTA (2005) that forced my hand even further. Arguably the most successful of the Moore adaptations (certainly in terms of being relatively faithful to the source) but from the first frame I felt sick. The world created by director James McTeigue was just so slick. The comic was a dingy, kitchen sink fantasy that could have been made into a film by Ken Loach (if he did that sort of thing).
It presented the decay of Thatchers Britain in everything but name. This was a film that seemed cool in the worst Blairite way. Everything was shiny: the cars, the buildings, Natalie Portman. It just felt soso Hollywood, a factor that rendered its theme of social anarchy totally impotent. But it wasnt even this that made me feel ill. It was the betrayal the betrayal I felt at standing with the corporations against Moore. It had to stop.
So for this reason I wont be seeing WATCHMEN not at the cinema, not on DVD or Freeview or on Channel 4 in ten years time. Because being an artist should mean something. Taking a stand for you principles should mean something. People like Moore are in the minority and the fact that they stand on the fringes of society leaves them open to ridicule.
We live in such an apathetic world but when someone stands up for something worthwhile it is our duty to stand with them. These people should be championed, encouraged and given favour over the empty drones that want to control our lives with a fistful of dollars.
In Watchmen (the comic at least) Moore paints a world without heroes. Weirdly, here in the real world, I seem to have found one and best of all, hes a grumpy old magician from the East Midlands.
The first part of Alan Moore & Kevin ONeills League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Century is released at the end of April.