These Video Game Weapons Suck! (At First)
A Stumble To A Sprint.
So you might be looking at the title and saying to yourself, "Jules you wonderfully pale and shiny egg, didn't you already burst a vein nut on the subject of video game weapons that were about as deadly as a dull butter knife?" and to that, I'd say, why yes my friend technically this is a list of video game pokers, prodders, and poppers that failed to slice through a cheeseboard let alone an enemy, but as per usual I'm applying my own greasy twist on the subject to make something entirely new.
For you see we're actually shining a small ray of positivity on this These Things Suck series today and talking about video games weapons that started out terrible but had a word with themselves and slapped on the beef to dish out some of the good old ultra violence in the endgame.
True some of these items required real work from the player to power up or to even locate but by the closing chapters even their shadow was enough to make enemies wet themselves.
5. Masamune - Chrono Trigger
It feels very strange to take a weapon of such fame and legendary renown as the one and only Masamune and point at it with grubby paws and say it "sucks" but this is very much the case, albeit for a short while, when it comes to the almighty Chrono Trigger.
Now first things first, look at Frog and tell me this isn't the best character ever to grace a video game cover, and secondly look at the whopper of a weapon he's holding. These two facets sure do set the heart palpitations to "Zion Club Rave In A Pandemic" levels (eww get that sweat off me) and upon recruiting Frog and unlocking the almighty blade you might be prepared to put your feet up and coast through the rest of the game no issue.
However, much like my disastrous first driving lesson, things hit a brick wall almost immediately when it's mentioned by others that the Masamune isn't actually fully powered up yet, and is soon outclassed by other weapons that you can buy at vendors. Now, this isn't exactly a good look for a weapon that has been pumped full of hot air and which is now resembling something of an enema to your expectations. Hell, we've seen it cleave through a !*$% mountain and here it is struggling to compete with a letter opener I bought from Del Boy down the market.
However, fret not! For the adorable Amphibian can indeed go on a quest in the mid to late game in order to get that sword swole and upon completion rewards, you not only with an insanely powerful weapon, but also the satisfaction that Frog can finally fulfill his quest to honor his friend's memories in battle.