Lou Reed & Metallica - Lulu Review
It is the status of these two artists that really makes Lulu such a bad move. They are both icons of their own genre, but Lou Reed fans are not Metallica fans, and Metallica fans are not Lou Reed fans.
rating: 1
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When Lou Reed and Metallica announced earlier this year that they were to release an album together, the internet and music press alike raised a collective eyebrow in a strange mix of apprehension, confusion and anticipation. To call it one of the most talked about projects of recent years would be an understatement, as fans waited to see what these two polar opposites would create when given the chance. The result? Lulu. A collection of ten songs based around a German expressionist play of the same name which clocks in at just under 90 minutes and its opening line is I would cut my legs and tits off. And trust me, by the end of its gruelling running time, you will want to cut your legs and tits off (replace limbs and gender specific organs as necessary). Phrases such as avant-garde and music as art have been thrown around by elitists who believe listening to music that was recorded upside down on instruments that dont even exist yet makes them better than everyone else, but these should be completely ignored. The only label this album needs is awful. Before I continue ranting, I should say that the album isnt completely terrible. The chorus of lead single The View sounds like it would actually fit onto a Load/Reload era Metallica album and Iced Honey isnt a bad track when put into the context of the rest of the album. However, even these brief moments are let down by the same problem that ruins the entire project the whole thing is just really boring. Also, James Hetfield shouts I AM THE TABLE at least five times in The View which is simply hilarious. For example, in the 11 minute epic(?) Cheat On Me, there is an atmospheric build up which lasts for over three minutes, before Lou and The Het repeatedly ask why do I cheat on me? with a dull, slightly out of time drumbeat from Mr Lars Ulrich and an even duller keyboard melody as their only backing. This continues for the remaining eight minutes of the song, with the only real variation being the replacement of the word I with you occasionally and the increasing sense that Lars has completely forgotten how to play drums. Mistress Dread is another ridiculously repetitive track, although it begins with a fairly cool thrash riff which wouldnt have been out of place as an outro riff to an early Metallica album, it just keeps going, and going, and going, eventually becoming so skull-numbingly boring that I would put it within my least favourite songs ever recorded.