For those of you in a position to hire, and those sadists that spend their waking hours working in "Human Resources" (the quotations are because it's actually called Cattle Management, to those in the know), it's the best time of year! Oh, the influx of bright eyed, bushy tailed and ridiculously impoverished graduates willing to take literally any job for any wage are here! Having spent years having that disgusting genuine interest and enthusiasm beaten out of them through exorbitant costs and maniacally giggling alcoholics with god complexes (Read: Professors), it's finally time to get to work. Of course, before getting to work, you have to find work. This is considerably more of a challenge than getting out of bed at four in the afternoon every day and eating Coco Pops in a room full of two hundred hungover people. Still, if there is one thing that earning a degree shows, it is perseverance and motivation. We know this is true because you have to persevere and have the motivation to drink thirty four WKDs a night and pretend you are enjoying yourself in a club ankle deep in urine, instead of having a nice pint down the pub and beating all your friends at pool. Now, let's hit these new graduates with a bit of wood with nails in it! The wood is a metaphor for life, and the nails are a metaphor for getting out of bed everyday before the sun and doing your minimum wage job! Hurray!