TV Review: The River 1.7, "The Experiment"

The River not only pulls from Lost, but now also The Walking Dead.

By Joseph Kratzer /

rating: 3

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Picking up where last episode left off, the crew of the Magus (minus creepy Jahel and her father) explores the abandoned out post Emmet Cole€™s footage led them to and just when you think The River is about to get interesting and creative with what little potential it has left €“ zombies. Don€™t get me wrong, I love me a snarling, flesh-crazed corpse as much as the next guy, but this series just keeps biting off more than it can chew (no pun intended) and usually from another guest€™s plate. Alright, so the crew€™s exploring the Dharma Initiative buildings and they€™re coming across general creepiness like bloody handprints, old French music playing, weird smells and noises, a kitchen full of food that nothing but mold has touched (not even animals), until they finally hear the buzzing of thousands of bugs behind a door and think, €œYeah, we should definitely open this,€ and once they do they€™re swarmed by flies and the stench from the dozens of dead bodies in the meat locker. Now, so far so good €“ we€™ve got a slow build to discovering whatever it was that decimated the site while Kurt, the private security expert, wanders off away from the group (he€™s going to get a pretty harsh rating on his comment card for that one) dispersed with flashbacks to Lincoln at Med school, Clark and the dead camera guy from the pilot selling Tess on the expedition, and Kurt proposing to his German girlfriend, Hana, whom he€™s been trying to call on his transmitter all of a sudden and whose phone Kurt and AJ hear ringing. All of these elements are fine ingredients to a decent episode of television. Then, as soon as things start to crystalize into something potentially awesome €“ a preserved tribesman with angel wing bones growing from his back, adorned with the same symbol on Lena€™s neck and Lincoln€™s necklace as well as Kurt and AJ finding Rosetta €œRabbit€ Fischer (introduced last episode) €“ things start to fall apart. Apparently, according to some €“ you guessed it €“ found footage, the research being conducted at this abandoned facility was looking to manipulate the genetic sequence of the Zulu tribes people so as to exploit their enduring youth (one tribesman is described by a scientist as being a €œ50 year old with the cardiovascular system of a teenager€) to synthesize a cure for cancer. Turns out this almost cure was released when Hana, Kurt€™s girlfriend, who of course was also Head of Security at the facility, could not let the scientists€™ research leave the building and thought shooting up the doctors and the many beakers and containers of who knows what was a good method of containment. Makes me wonder why she didn€™t become a scientist. Anyway, once it was released, the cure had adverse effects on those it came in contact with (who would€™ve guessed it) and turned them into zombies. Now if you€™re going to use zombies, a device that is its own genre with its own set of rules and conventions, you need to earn them, you can€™t just throw them into your show because you€™re tired of using tribes people and you do that by offering some explanation as to how they went from infected to unstoppable flesh eating hordes and The River offered no such explanation. I€™m not saying movies and TV shows need to spell everything out, far from it. What I am saying is that there needs to be some indication of how something gets from A to B otherwise it just comes off as random and laughable, which in this case it did. This was done very well when the episode cut to a clip from Undiscovered Country in which Emmet explains that butterflies and dragonflies can encase themselves in amber to preserve themselves in harsh conditions, so why wasn€™t it done for the zombies? I could attempt to fill this plot hole by guessing that the cure worked too well and kept those infected alive even beyond death (or something) but I€™m not the series€™ writer, I€™m among its audience and it€™s not the viewers€™ job to compensate for the errors of the writers. Speaking of errors, I don€™t mind believing in angel tribes people, zombifying cancer cures, or magic dragonflies that can encase adult men in life-sustaining amber (you suspend your disbelief as soon as you pick up the remote control), but are we really supposed to buy the fact that after two straight hours of running back to the Magus the crew didn€™t notice a couple zombies following them or board their ship? And given the zombies€™ propensity for taking naps (original I suppose, if not totally lame), how did they keep up with the crew? Also, how the hell did Rabbit survive for months in that facility run amuck with zombies? She seems about as resourceful as someone who abandons her hero in a jungle with no supplies after getting rejected by him. Look, I€™ve said this before, I want to like The River, but for every original or at least intriguing element, or for every attempt at genuine character development or genuine evocation of emotion, there€™s like twice as many flimsy executions that simply keep the experience of watching the show from paying off. Granted seeing Dr. Emmet Cole blow away the last zombie on the ship that had attacked Kurt who revealed to AJ (in German) he was sent to kill Cole was pretty awesome, I don€™t know if it€™s enough to keep the Magus afloat for another season (and yes, I understand ratings are what determine show€™s futures, not critical success, but my job isn€™t to critique ratings). I do, however, give credit to the series for finally getting the one worthwhile character on the show into the fold for at least the last episode. I don€™t know how the next and possibly final episode of The River is going to set things up for a captivating continuation of this story, but I€™m too invested at this point not to find out.