10 Academy Awards (For Pro Westling)
The Kings Of The World.
This week, the film industry celebrated itself as part of the 90th Academy Awards celebrations, which ran about as long as a WWE big four pay-per-view event, but showcased far more new stars.
The #OscarsSoWhite movement hasn't yet set in motion a full paradigm shift. Gary Oldman grabbed the Best Actor gong for cosplaying as Winston Churchill in a guaranteed Oscar-bait of a performance, and the biopic was celebrated yet further; Allison Janney was recognised for her portrayal as another IRL human being, LaVona Golden. The Academy is deeply impressed by impressions, but since the Academy isn't voting here, Vince McMahon brings home nothing for parodying himself through the insane Jinder Mahal-as-WWE Champion push.
There were, however, some unusual choices elsewhere; the Troy McClure-triggering, fish-sh*gging The Shape Of Water brought home Best Picture, pipping The Post - typical Steven Spielberg Oscar fodder - to the post. The very un-white Get Out won Best Original Screenplay, defying a century's worth of dubious tradition in the process. Guillermo del Toro reconciled the recent Best Picture and Best Director split.
Much like the rise of New Japan in the wrestling world, acclaim is spreading...
10. Best Actress - Alexa Bliss
The range showcased by Alexa Bliss is remarkable. Her resting b*tch face drips with scorn. She surveys almost everything around her with a roll of the eyes before, when faced with the slightest threat, selling terror in a way that should - but won't - make Stephanie McMahon ashamed. Bliss is an even better sore winner than scared loser, reacting to even the most tainted of triumphs as if she's just stolen the show at WrestleMania. And that's why she holds the RAW Women's Title ahead of it. Bliss deserves the recognition for a year in which she was essentially pro wrestling's Laura Dern: dependably brilliant, diverse, and absolutely everywhere.
Bliss perfected the bait and switch at Elimination Chamber, using the real-life emotion charging her tears to hoodwink the audience into thinking a face turn was imminent. Even your immediate family bought it!
Honourable Nominee Mention: Asuka portrays a sensual killer with the utmost conviction, using her immense physical charisma to intimidate her opponents. Underrated as a comedienne, Asuka's pose theft game is strong, and her terrified selling of the Miz's blustering incompetence throughout the Mixed Match Challenge proves she can play broad when the occasion demands it.