10 Awful Wrestling Matches That Stunk Up Arenas
"MINUS FIVE STARS!"
A bad wrestling match might contain within it a series of botches.
It might fall apart under the weight of a constrictive stipulation. It might be subjected to a wrestler being in "no condition to perform" in it.
The matches on this list are much, much worse than that. They are the lowest of the low. One stunk up the arena to such an extent that it resulted in the immediate dismissal of two of the poor souls who made up half of it. Astonishingly, some of these matches feature wrestlers who - at least when paired with the correct opponent - were more than capable of assembling a gripping contest. Their inclusion here is as baffling as it is disappointing as it is perversely hilarious.
As a rule of thumb, non-wrestlers aren't included in this list. Your writer, sitting in a cushy office, wouldn't want to be subjected to Dave Meltzer's divisive star rating system. Untrained, unfit, and with a monotonous voice, he couldn't talk you into the building, nor work once inside of it.
There is one exception to this rule: one such catastrophe is so incomprehensibly terrible that it demands inclusion.
10. Hollywood Hogan Vs. The Warrior - WCW Halloween Havoc 1998
A mat classic was never on the agenda, but Hogan and the Warrior's match at WrestleMania VI eight years earlier was cause enough for some optimism - even if both men's performance level had subsequently degenerated through selfishness and ring rust, respectively.
"They are two of the greatest wrestlers of all-time", said Tony Schiavone euphemistically, as the two circled one another in the early going, which consisted of little more than basic locks. "Come on, Hogan - feel the power!" Warrior cried, challenging his opponent to an '80s-style test of strength.
Meanwhile, in the WWF, Stone Cold Steve Austin was popularising the crazed arena-wide brawl commonplace in the company's Attitude Era.
Warrior, as if seeking vengeance for Hogan's limelight-hogging shenanigans at 'Mania VI, mistimed his selling to an almost comical extent. Hogan laughed in arch villain fashion during one of the match's many, many tests of strength, to which fans rain down apathetic jeers.
It is as lazy and arrogant a match you're ever likely to see, and the finish included a spectacular - and literal - misfire: Hogan was meant to throw a fireball in Warrior's direction, but it instead blew up in his hand and scorched his own face.
That just about sums the whole thing up.