10 Most Absurdly Mismatched Gimmicks In WWE
The square pegs being jammed into round holes.
“Nobody knows anything... Not one person in the entire motion picture field knows for a certainty what's going to work. Every time out it's a guess and, if you're lucky, an educated one.”
That’s Hollywood legend William Goldman on making movies - and it seems that, as on the silver screen, so in the squared circle.
The fact is, no one really seems to know what works and what doesn’t, what makes a hit angle or a household name. How many heavily pushed Next Big Things have crashed and burned over the last twenty years or more?
Of course, that hasn’t stopped everyone and their monkey from declaring that they know what gets over. There’s one supposedly cast iron truth, however: characters and gimmicks that are the performer turned up to eleven feel more authentic and connect better with the crowd.
So, if that’s a truism you can take to the bank... why is it that so many talented wrestlers are given roles to play that blatantly don’t fit who they are or what they do? Why ask an already sceptical fanbase to suspend their disbelief further still by selling them apples and calling them oranges?
These are some of the most absurdly mismatched gimmicks, characters, roles and wrestling personas in WWE.
10. Hardcore Holly Was Not A White Meat Babyface
Love him or loathe him, Robert ‘Hardcore Holly’ Howard is the very definition of glowering badass - but although he’s a tower of menacing, sculpted muscle, it’s his reputation that does the work for him.
Everyone knows that, in character and out, ‘Hardcore’ Holly is a no nonsense, stiff son-of-a-gun, big on respect and the old school traditions. That’s why it seems so utterly absurd that, faced with this dude - a former bouncer and bar fighter, built like a heavyweight boxer, who once wrestled a bear - Vince McMahon chose to give him the character of happy-go-lucky NASCAR driver, Thurman ‘Sparky’ Plugg.
Leaving the cheesy occupational gimmick aside - hey, this was 1994, and the real life Bob loves to race, so you can at least see the thought process going on - can you imagine Bob Holly as a white meat babyface, kissing babies and high-fiving college kids? You don’t have to. Here he is:
With the benefit of hindsight, you can see every thumbs-up, every flash of cheerful teeth destroying a piece of Bob’s soul. Unconvincing and awkward in the role, it took four years and a fierce performance in the car crash Brawl For All shoot tournament for ‘Hardcore’ Holly to finally make an appearance.