10 Most Bizarre Hardcore Matches In Wrestling History
Wrestling: you're both dumber and funnier for enjoying it.
You are meant to feel excited - but mostly terrified - when a promoter books the “stipped-up” blow-off match.
Through total overkill and excess, this is nigh-on impossible to achieve in the modern era; you’ve seen virtually every demented spot there is, and they can’t seem to hurt that much, since the same wrestlers specialise in certain attractions.
“This incredibly dangerous match shortens careers, and is an absolute last resort - which is why we do it the same time every single year!”
AEW has managed to preserve the aura of the Texas Death match, after overdoing its Lights Out attraction and turning Anarchy In The Arena into something that’s probably more fun than scary. WWE still promotes wild stunt shows, but in 2024 is more into melodrama and “cinema” than violence as a selling point (that said, this year’s Women’s Money In The Bank ladder match was one of the most frightening attractions of the decade).
Many of the following matches were difficult to take seriously under the old premise/selling point - which makes you wonder why the promoter even bothered. Is it reductive to state “Because wrestling is absolutely stupid”?
Not really…
10. Eye For An Eye Match
WWE realised, early in the Pandemic era, that 27 minute matches between Apollo Crews and Aleister Black weren’t what the fans were after. The ratings told a rather bleak story.
WWE fans prize spectacle above most everything else - which was difficult to achieve in an empty glorified gym. In terms of noise, the ambience wasn’t too dissimilar to a standard abysmal 2019 Raw taping. WWE fans had grown accustomed to nobody giving a toss.
But visually, Christ almighty: the Performance Center backdrop was bleak.
Then. Now. Together. Forever.
Then. Now. Forever? Distanced, more like.
And so, WWE decided to get very, very hokey with its attractions. When not veering into the realms of “cinema” - features by which McG would be appalled - the company booked an Eye For An Eye match between Seth Rollins and Rey Mysterio at the aptly-named Horror Show at Extreme Rules.
The aim of the match was for one man to remove the other’s eyeball. Senselessly, Seth and Rey worked hard and put on a flashy plunder brawl lasting 18 minutes, and for what? It could have been the Match of the Year for 17 minutes; the last minute was always going to position it as the Worst.
Seth pretended a pool ball half-painted pink was Rey’s actual eye, and won. The prop was absolutely pathetic, almost as bad as the idea itself.