10 Most Surreal WWE Matches Ever
Horror show in a half-shell.
This Sunday's Men's 5-on-5 Traditional Survivor Series line-up is surreal in the extreme, all things considered.
The bridge was once considered burnt by Shane McMahon, who famously relinquished the WWE throne to sister Stephanie in 2009. Ditto rival captain Kurt Angle - and that's before stringent medical testing was thought to have put paid to the prospect of his in-ring return. Angle can still go in short bursts, but you'd never think it to look at him: the man's posture is caved in, in addition to his compounded neck.
Braun Strowman is a Vince McMahon wet dream fans are actually on board with. Finn Bálor is the one wrestler on the planet able to reconcile the great divide between Kevin Dunn and the hardcore fandom. Samoa Joe and Bobby Roode, just a few short years ago, were TNA guys - and thus considered tumours. Shinsuke Nakamura forged his career in defiance of WWE: he worked a ludicrously stiff style, and is Japanese. Triple H, John Cena and Randy Orton provoked apathy by wrestling in some combination for what felt like aeons just under a decade ago. Ironically, they might even generate "Fight Forever!" chants, if the match lives up to its immense potential.
And yet, all 10 men will do battle in Houston - but they may still have a problem out-WTFing the following dreamlike mind-f*cks...
10. Donald Trump Vs. Rosie O'Donnell - RAW, January 8, 2007
The one time Vince McMahon was alert to the pulse of wider culture, post-Attitude Era, saw him capitalise on the beef between pre-presidential Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell - and book two impersonators to settle their differences on the flagship. We often complain, exaggeratedly, that Vince McMahon plays to an audience of one. This is that complaint manifested literally; absolutely everybody in the audience rejected this self-serving bullsh*t.
The match began with Trump and O'Donnell trading barbs. "I'm gonna take everything you have and buy me a large pizza!" said Rosie - as if Trump's historic involvement with WWE and O'Donnell's very being wasn't enough to help you determine whose side Vince was on. Trump constantly tended to his hair, destroying the rule of the running gag. Rosie was in no condition to perform, at first. She needed a prematch meal, and so tucked in to some ringside cake. Rosie took over the early going - because, naturally, she had the weight advantage. Trump, fighting back, roared "Come on fatty - come here and get some barbecue sauce!"
Yes, McMahon made certain to throw in a Jim Ross-sized dig, too.
They riffed on the Hogan Vs. André WrestleMania III finish to finish, and the folly was profundly exposed; never had WWE seemed so small-time.