10 Things WWE Wants You To Forget About Eric Bischoff
Highly Lamentable Action.
Well, that didn't last long. To the surprise of precisely nobody, Eric Bischoff's inexplicable SmackDown run has came to a humbling close. He achieved the sum total of diddly squat - possibly less than that - and returns to Wyoming tail tucked between his pins.
That is, if he cares even slightly. On this occasion, Bischoff was probably just taking it to the bank.
It makes a change. Throughout his WCW tenure, Eric Bischoff was often mockingly referred to as 'ATM Eric'. Ted Turner's billions flowed through the company honcho's checkbook to his money-grabbing stars' checking accounts like wine at a Bacchanal. For many, the end result of this inflated income had the same hazy outcome.
Inevitably, this excess eventually led to WCW's closure in 2001, and with it Bischoff's oil-well dried up. The bank may have closed, but after fading from the forefront of the business, Easy E began dispensing something else with reliable regularity: utter bulls**t. A frequent commenter on his contribution to the industry, the former Raw GM could often be depended upon for his unique version of certain events which prevailing wisdom otherwise totally contradicts. Let's call him IBS Eric.
Sometimes, amidst his jazzy improvisation of history, there was a glimmer of unaccepted truth - realities which didn't quite align with WWE's carefully manufactured narratives. When it comes to revising the past, WWE made Bischoff look like Sancus. Heck, Stalin would balk at some of their more preposterous porkies.
That said, even if Vince McMahon never really thought 'Easy E' was the fraud they recast him as, he might have reassessed that opinion these past few months.
10. His Match With Teddy Long
Marching to the ring in a ridiculous looking Judo gi at Survivor Series '05, Steve Blackman Eric Bischoff was not. But compared to opponent Teddy Long, he was a ring veteran, having shared PPV matches with Steve Austin and Ric Flair. That wealth of, erm, 'experience', counted for seldom little in his abominable contest opposite the one-time manager and erstwhile referee.
The drastic affair was notable for precisely two reasons, other than its innate badness: 1) ostensible 'Network representative' but actual nobody Palmer Cannon (that's right, "who?") being booted to the floor and 2) The Boogeyman being the highlight of the match. Think about that.
Remarkably, it isn't even Teddy Long's worst match, owing to his hair vs. hair kerfuffle with Paul Ellering at Capitol Combat '90, a bar so low a champion limbo dancer would struggle to beat it.