5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (Feb 15)
EC5(0/50): The Formula For Nihilism.
WWF Wrestling Challenge, January 29, 1991.
The Undertaker has arrived as a major, future player. Gorilla Monsoon is instructed through his headset to put him over as a special act accordingly. "Here...comes...the Dead Man!" he shouts. "It's Dark Side time!" he follows up robotically. 'Taker encroaches towards the ringside area with lurching dread and a sullen, pallid expression. If there is any vaguely human characteristic to detect, and you'd have to really look, but only if you can bear it, it is menace.
He is the new big star, but he enters the ring first. It doesn't matter. As 'Taker removes his gloves, the big blast of a horn blares over the speakers, followed by a chugging Street Fighter guitar riff. "Could it be?" Monsoon exclaims, already intimately aware of the the theme tune. "Oh my! It is! It's Tugboat!"
'Taker and Tugger wrestle a competitive six minute match to little crowd reaction. 'Taker wins with a Tombstone after Tugboat is distracted by Dino Bravo.
On the next week's Superstars, the rematch is set.
The big blast of a horn blares over the speakers, followed by a chugging Street Fighter guitar riff. "Could it be?" Monsoon exclaims, already intimately aware of the the theme tune. "Oh my! It is! It's Tugboat!"
The Undertaker enters second, before he and Tugboat wrestle a competitive six minute match to little crowd reaction. Tugboat, having built the requisite momentum, gets his win back with a roll-up. 'Taker sells this as if mired in an existential crisis.
Welcome to 2019!
5. This EC3 Stuff, Jesus Christ
EC3 isn't short for Ethan Carter III in WWE; those initials stand for the "formula for success".
How wonderfully ironic, provided what a complete and utter hash WWE has made of the guy's main roster debut.
To recap: EC3 has posed backstage in front of mirrors, not spoken a word even though he is a very good promo, and went over Dean Ambrose last week, which telegraphed the events of this week. Yes, Dean Ambrose got his win back, even though he is leaving. Dean Ambrose ahead of this rematch also turned face out of nowhere. "Slay the beast," Ambrose said. "An unexpected show of support!" Michael Cole said. Too right: it was only a few months ago that Ambrose claimed Roman Reigns' leukaemia was a punishment from on high.
"So...sorry about the whole "God gave our brother with cancer thing,"" Ambrose followed up.
"Quite all right, Dean. Our characters have no interior lives!"
And then the match happened. EC3 worked it as a heel, presumably because Ambrose had just turned face. It was that simple. "You are good now, so I am bad now." Imagine applying that mentality elsewhere. If Ambrose eats, does EC3 sh*t? If Ambrose drinks, does EC3 piss? If Ambrose wins one week, does EC3 win the next? "I asked EC3 to describe himself earlier today," said Cole, and this conversation definitely happened, "and he said "a dose of toxic masculinity"."
So we can look forward, next week, to EC3 sexually assaulting Alexa Bliss, getting lost on the way to the show and refusing to ask for directions, and hypnotising AJ Styles into a state of profound confusion.