5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (June 8)
That's symbullsh*t right there.
In recent years, WWE insists that its performers point at the WrestleMania sign as they seek to - oh, godd*mnit - build momentum ahead of the Royal Rumble.
Once an iconic visual, like most everything else in the company, it is now a rotten concept borrowed by one and all, irrespective of their chances of winning the match itself. The trope is omni-irritating. It looks stupid and unnatural, for a start. It isn't a genuine statement of intent; it is an instruction. Cody Rhodes pointed at the bloody thing during the 2012 Rumble match. For reference, he wasn't even Stardust yet. WWE isn't selective in who it tells to do The Point.
All WWE sports entertainers must point at the WrestleMania sign to convey to the audience that, yes, they would indeed like to participate at WrestleMania. This is, as Michael Cole enjoys pointing out, "symbolic". What is perhaps most irritating is that WWE does this under the belief that the audience is stupid. The audience cannot be trusted to follow WWE storylines sufficiently (!), so WWE makes its performers look stupid by copying one another like cookie cutter d*ckheads from a spluttering production line.
This copy and paste meaninglessness, this "symbolism" - why are there so many writers? - is no longer exclusive to WrestleMania season...
5. We Are Through The Looking Glass
On this week's RAW, Finn Bálor fought Kevin Owens in a main event match bereft of stakes and a purpose, the B U I L D I N G M O M E N T U M caveat excepted, since nobody builds momentum in WWE. After an unsatisfying disqualification finish, the old magnetic weapons trope reared its head; because both men are set to feature in the upcoming Men's Money In The Bank Ladder Match, Owens pulled a ladder from underneath the ring. Despite having retrieved it himself, and having previously scaled ladders with no compunction in multiple multi-man ladder bouts, KO suddenly became frightened, as if he was Dave Taylor or something. It's not as if he hasn't been de-pushed from greater heights. He should be used to it.
Bálor capitalised on KO's sudden and nonsensical phobia - didn't they already introduce his fear of Stephanie McMahon a fortnight ago? - by ramming him face-first into the ladder before ascending it himself. This caused Corey Graves grave consternation. "Just take the briefcase, Finn! It can be symbolic!"
What?
What?
Since Graves changes his mind about who he supports and is concerned about from week to week, and we see this and the sign-pointing trope year to year, we can only infer that Corey Graves actually believes - and wants us to believe - that simply holding the briefcase aloft "sends a message" to "everybody in the back". All Bálor had to do was wait for Owens to climb down and climb up himself, uninterrupted, and grab the briefcase unimpeded; Owens was afraid of heights because that's the kind of guy he is this week. Just watch Owens climb the ladder at the pay-per-view with no hesitation. Just watch and wonder what it is you're doing with your life.
Per Corey Graves, Finn was faced with two options: cave his competition's f*cking chest in, or symbolically raise the briefcase. How was this a choice? Whatever happened to pro wrestling? What's it even a symbol of, anyway?
"When I get my hands on this, Vince will book me to lose for months on end!"