7 Match Star Ratings For WWE TLC 2020
In which Sasha Banks and Carmella setting the ThunderDome alight is the real fire.
The build to TLC 2020 was actively atrocious.
WWE attempted to load up the intrigue ahead of Drew McIntyre Vs. AJ Styles. Difficult as it was to make the RAW main event scene interesting - it is supported by midcard talent of the early 2010s well past any relevance, giving it an I Can't Believe It's Not TNA vibe - creative at least cast doubt over the finish.
Might The Miz cash in?
What if TLC is the night Sheamus finally turns on Drew?
Theoretically interesting by WWE f*ck finish standards, any mild, emotionally detached praise was tempered by last Monday's RAW. The sh*t-show of frivolous unfunny comedy was precisely why the show posted a record low rating. It didn't make you want to watch men fight. It made you want to die.
Good if corny individual performances couldn't get people buzzing over Roman Reigns Vs. Kevin Owens, which might have something to do with KO participating in handicap tags in which the heel was disadvantaged (!), and Reigns cutting long promos with Owens' battered body as the backdrop. There's heat, and there's carelessness. Roman is great in the role. WWE can't book babyfaces. WWE's biggest artistic triumph is wasted on them.
Who is the heel: Bray Wyatt or Randy Orton? The man who infantilised and seduced a young woman using nefarious supernatural powers, or the guy who'd sh*t in her bag given half a chance?
Sake. The telly is a shower of piss.
As for the PPV...?
7. KICKOFF: Eight-Man Tag Team Match
The Kickoff show seems even more inessential than ever now, with no real crowd to gently coax into no atmosphere, so it didn't really matter that King Corbin started the proceedings.
At least when he was in the ring taking suplexes awkwardly, Sami Zayn chewed the scenery by berating Big E like the wonderful pissant that he is. Corbin wasn't helped when Chad Gable and then Daniel Bryan stepped in the ring to work some choice technical exchanges with Cesaro, but the match was. It settled into an aesthetically pleasing if generic rhythm as Michael Cole reminded the audience of Sami Zayn's leaked tirade. The match earns an extra quarter star since WWE referenced Tom Cruise, and not Christian Bale.
Otis invoked Vader with his ring gear. That won't help, sorry. His sequence with Shinsuke Nakamura barely registered as anything that was going to pull you into a match that had slowed to a crawl after - yes - Baron Corbin had another stint in there with Bryan. How do you contrive to make an eight-man tag with so many excellent talents in it so tedious?
Paced poorly - this could have banged without banging anybody up, it was an eight-man for f*ck's sake - this alternate universe spot-fest thriller really only served to build Sami Zayn and Big E's upcoming Intercontinental Title match.
Zayn was decent value playing the chicken sh*t heel, because he's a godsend, but this didn't offer even the hollow thrills the dynamic was capable of.
It's Christmas. Who cares.
Star Rating: ★★½