7 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (July 28)
Psychotic bumps and legs-cum-stumps.
Sunday's Battleground was an abysmal show. In the course of one night, WWE managed to...
- Diminish the aura of Shinsuke Nakamura yet further (although mercifully, an imminent match with John Cena on SmackDown next week may yet correct that course).
- Outdo themselves in the 50/50 booking department by lumbering Mike Kanellis with a 0.5 televised record two matches into his entire WWE run.
- Give the TNA Reverse Battle Royal a run for its money by booking John Cena and Rusev in a match in which they should have just raced to the podium - only common sense stopped them.
- Promote an interminable and illogical Punjabi Prison match years after it was laughed off as the sh*tshow it is.
- Book the return of the Great Khali for a cheap pop for the benefit of those 8,000 miles away from Philadelphia.
The terrible quality was infectious; AJ Styles, normally a consummate professional, purportedly failed to lift his shoulder up at the required time, thereby botching the finish to his US Title match with Kevin Owens. In fairness, Owens went for the chin lock so often that Styles can be forgiven for sleeping on the job.
It was so bad that the stench obscured the most ridiculous bump witnessed in WWE in decades...
7. Battleground Saw The Most Ridiculous Bump All Year...
...and nobody really gave a sh*t.
During the Punjabi Prison match, Samir Singh crawled under the cage to attack Randy Orton and prevent him from escaping...by climbing up the cage, which created a plot hole the size of your boner for terrible Dave Meltzer Tokyo Dome jokes. Why wouldn't Messrs Orton and Mahal not crawl under the bamboo? The answer, as with so much in WWE, is: it would have made too much sense.
This was not Samir's sole contribution; he then crawled through a hole in the outer structure - what an unintentionally hilarious visual metaphor for the match that was - and scaled it to meet Orton at the top. Orton broke free of his choke with punches to the gut and face. The last one sent Samir crashing, from a legit height of fifteen feet, onto and through the announce table. The initial impact was shocking enough - there was no inflatable to literally cushion his crash, a la WrestleMania 32 - but the replay was even more sickening. His head snapped back on itself as if his neck was a slinky.
The commentators sold this suicidal bump by ignoring it completely. "Guys!" Tom Phillips said. "Remember, still inside the ring, Jinder Mahal and Randy Orton, rather, are still inside the structure! This match continues!"
This was exponentially crazier than the Rikishi truck bump - even Foley's No Way Out 2000 stunt. A man risked death for absolutely nothing. Good God almighty.