10 Hollywood Badasses Who Could Stop A British Zombie Outbreak
Always outnumbered. Never outgunned.
Imagine that George Romero is prepping his 7th Living Dead movie, which for tax reasons he’s decided to set in the UK.
In Nation Of The Dead, the British government’s welfare “reforms” have left thousands of people hungry so, in true Romero fashion, they start devouring each other, initiating an outbreak that shuts down the country. Quarantine is enforced, and any craft that attempts to leave by air or sea is destroyed on sight.
The American President, in the country on a state visit, is trapped inside the US Embassy. He’s managed to survive the outbreak so far but, surrounded by the zombie hoard, how much longer can he hold out?
Only one person is mad enough to attempt a rescue mission: Kyle “The Cobra” Cobretti, a one-eyed former soldier currently awaiting a court martial in the US. Unlike most Romero characters, Cobretti’s not a happy-go-lucky sort thrown into an impossible situation, but a highly-trained badass you wouldn’t want to mess with. Who could Romero get for the role?
With such an androgynous name, the character could be male or female. All the part really requires is someone with a thousand-yard stare who looks good firing two guns simultaneously. A slither of charm wouldn’t hurt either, so the following 10 should get their asses to central casting immediately.
10. Kurt Russell
Let’s get this out of the way first: yes, Nation Of The Dead is basically Escape From New York with zombies, and Kyle “The Cobra” Cobretti is Snake Plissken by another name. Not considering Kurt Russell seems like an insult.
When it comes to jumping into hot spots at a moment’s notice, Russell’s done it not once, but twice (albeit with diminishing returns) for John Carpenter. Then again, he said he was through being an action hero after Soldier, so when he appeared in Poseidon, Death Proof and Furious Seven, he was usually part of an ensemble, playing a character who didn’t fare too well.
There’s still a role in Nation Of The Dead for him, though. He gets the “Morgan Freeman role”, playing the boss who recruits Cobretti and sends him/her on the mission. To ensure his soldier doesn’t abort the mission, Russell injects two microscopic explosives into Cobretti’s neck that will detonate in 24 hours. Then he looks Cobretti in the eye and says, “How do you like it?”