Canada. The poor b*stard stuck between America's arrogance and British self-righteousness. Like an over-compensating eldest child, it also strives to keep the peace with its First Nations population and their French step-sibling of a province, Quebec. We are internationally known as the nation who say sorry when you step on our toes, unless you are on a hockey rink - then it's every nation's ankles for itself. We strive to be culturally diverse, yet try to have a culture of our own (which is pretty much impossible when your closest competitor is the United States). In an effort to maintain or create a cultural heritage of our own, Canadian filmmakers usually turn to the Canadian government for film financing. Telefilm Canada is much like what BBC Films is to British filmmakers. Canadians fund Telefilm through taxes, so it goes to say that it's pretty difficult for the general public to justify allocating money to Telefilm when its films are generally regulated to the art-house circuit (which most of the public presumably thinks is an actual art house, where one buys art and good quality posters). With a mandate to fund only films that uniquely (and often vaguely) express the Canadian identity, it is a source many beginning producers often try to tap into, usually with limited results. Of course, it helps if you have already distributed a film to positive reviews and sales, but for beginning filmmakers, odds are you will have just as good a chance as receiving financing from a community bake sale than from the cost-conscious Canadian government. When government cut backs are announced, Telefilm (and Canadian filmmakers) tend to feel the pinch more than most. Yet, despite the dryness of recent Canadian films, here are 13 of the Canadian government's most embarrassing - if not successful - films, all of which became legends in their own right...