10 Craziest Unique Religions In Video Games
More tentacles equals more followers.
Life's hard for video game NPCs.
The lucky ones get to stumble around the same old town or city day after day, reciting bespoke dialogue to passers-by. The unlucky ones get brutally murdered - either by the player (in self-defense or for sh*ts and giggles) or when the bad guy needs to show how capital-e Evil they are.
Given all that, is it any wonder the poor sods turn to religion for comfort? Unfortunately, it turns out NPCs are just as bad at choosing what god to pray to as they are at preventing kleptomaniac protagonists from ransacking their homes.
When it comes to religion, video game characters have eclectic tastes. From mutated fish to pirate ghosts, NPCs have chosen some truly wretched objects to bestow divine status onto. They also have the unfortunate tendency to worship things that are actively trying to kill them, be they malevolent gods or head-munching parasites.
In the unlikely event you ever find yourself warped into a video game world like a 90's cartoon hero, and some kindly character guides you to the local church, make like Nancy Reagan and just say no. Otherwise you could spend your digital days praying to such non-divine entities such as...
10. Church of the Water Tsar (Metro Exodus)
Metro Exodus' regal-sounding Church of the Water Tsar are a group of post-apocalyptic cultists who decided the best way to see out the end days is by worshipping a colossal, mutated fish that keeps trying to eat them.
Unfortunately, the Water Tsar really doesn't live up to the theological hype.
The creature is certainly big by sea animal standards but, as the vicar said to the nun, "I've seen bigger". It may be large for a fish, but it's definitely not the biggest aquatic animal on the planet. Hell, if its worshippers ever laid eyes on a whale they would likely sh*t themselves in religious terror
However, if the Water Tsar itself disappoints, the same cannot be said for the iconography its adherents crafted for the beast. As the above pic shows, the Church of the Water Tsar's logo is a masterpiece of quasi-religious boll*cks. Roughly-etched symbol? Check. Illuminati eye? Check. Random numbers and letters? Check and check. There's even some crowns thrown in, just to "cap" the whole thing off. (Badoom-tsh).
While the Church's "god" may be a disappointment, their iconographer deserves whatever passes for a raise in post-apocalyptic society.