12 Dangerous Things Anti-Vaxxers Believe That Are Actually Child Abuse

Science is hard, parenting is hard, but that's no excuse for bleach enemas.

By Rayne Constantine /

Nobody ever said parenting was easy. The total dependence of tiny humans whose main functions are to leak out bodily fluids, emit ear-shattering noise and enter you into a state of sleep deprivation so hideous, it should be considered a war crime – is not something to be taken lightly. Parenting is hard and it doesn’t come with an instruction manual (apart from, you know, all the baby books available on the market).

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There are definitely some out there who need to read those instruction manuals. Since the dawn of humanity, people have been raising children and generally listening to that little voice inside their heads that says “For f*cks sake Janice, don’t feed the baby whiskey. That’s a no-no drink”. Well, most people. And then there are anti-vaxxers, and that's a whole other kettle of crazy.

We all know of anti-vaxxers, the overly confident, egotistical group of contagions who are under the illusion a science degree has fallen out of them along with their children, and think it gives them carte blanche to not only harass others on social media, but actively harm their kids.

They say dumb sh*t, they believe dumb sh*t and in regards to autistic children and healthcare – they do dumb sh*t.

And all of it is child abuse. All of it.

12. It’s Only Science If It Agrees With Me

Every movement has an origin story and the modern anti-vaccine movement is no exception. The anti-vaccine origin story is as dangerous as it is ironic and while it has been around for decades – the movement itself didn’t really kick off into the mainstream until the invention of social media allowed gullible people with a distrust of anyone perceived smarter than themselves, to spread sh*tty memes all over my Facebook feed, making me mad before my morning coffee.

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Say it with me: The Spirit Science Facebook page is not about f*cking science. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Enter Andrew Wakefield. Andy Wakefield is a now-disgraced doctor from the UK who, in 1998 published 12-patient case study in the Lancet discussing a link he found between the current MMR vaccine at the time, autism and bowel disease in children. When I say “link” I mean, he took a dump on a few pieces of paper and called it a scientific study. The study has since been retracted for several reasons including falsifying data, unethical procedures on children and in an ironic twist – due to journalist Brian Deer uncovering evidence that Wakefield manufactured data in order to engage in fraud for financial gain.

As a result of his “findings”, under the guise of concern for the tiny human population, Wakefield advocated for a boycott of the triple MMR in favour of breaking it up into single measles, mumps and rubella shots, to be given at yearly interval. Conveniently forgetting to inform the public that 2 years prior to the release of his paper, he was paid by solicitor Richard Barr to manufacture evidence against the 3 in 1 MMR vaccine, in the pursuit of Wakefield being able to patent his own version of the vaccine and so Barr could litigate compensation for parents who believed their children had been harmed by the vaccine due to the reasons fabricated in the paper.

This, class, is called a “conflict of interest” or as I like to call it “f*cking ironic”.

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