With Christmas only around the corner, parents around the world will be desperately scratching their heads and panicking about what gifts to buy for their offspring. While some will be sensible and not go over the top, others will be obnoxious and spend hundreds and even thousands on presents that little Johnny will forget about by Boxing Day. We shouldn't forget that Christmas is supposed to be more than about giving presents and getting drunk with relatives that you wont see for the rest of the year; its also about the birth of Jesus. So take a moment and spare a thought for me. Being an atheist who believes all religion should be banned and being disgusted by the commercial and materialistic drive that forces people to spend money they dont have; Christmas is a very depressing time for me. I also dont like the royal family and have to put up with endless coverage of the Queens Speech. Everything from what she wore to how she showed she was a queen of the people by posing in front taxpayer funded wealth while her subjects struggle to pay their fuel bills, the stupidity of it all confuses me. Like I said, Christmas is a very depressing time for me and thats even before I factor in the weather. That is why when it comes to buying presents, I normally try to go for something that signifies my feelings around the festive period. You might buy a loved one some perfume, I might buy them a tin of soup. The same goes for toys. We have all seen the bizarrely amusing Batman water pistol where the trigger is unfortunately the BatPenis that causes water (I hope) to squirt out of his mouth. What child wouldn't want that on Christmas day? So if you are looking for something different this year to waste your money on, have a look through this list of 20 inappropriate toys for inspiration. Just imagine the joy on their little faces.