Sleep is an activity that's supposed to naturally occur in humans. But unfortunately for some people, this so-called 'scientific fact' doesn't apply all that well. You are insomniacs. Your brain doesn't stop working. You're usually hooked on at least some form of sleeping medication and/or have an extensive collection of meditational relaxation tapes. Sometimes these aids may work - and the money might've been worthwhile but often they don't, and you end up spending hours upon hours by yourself in a dark room, drowning in the synthetic light of a laptop, surfing the internet for the best deal on sleep masks. Then you'll probably try and create such a thing with a sock, but it won't work and you'll have to make do with piling pants and raggedy old t-shirts on top of your head to block out the world. But the makeshift pile keeps falling over and you're forced to face the strangely fascinating wavy patterns on the ceiling, until the sun eventually rises and the world kicks back into gear again. The insomniac faces many struggles on a sleepless night that only they will know. Here's 21 of them:
21. Midnight Hunger
Even after polishing off a feast of fried chicken and lard before bed - like some kind of over-indulgent king - the prospect of trying to sleep will make you feel as though your kitchen is taunting you. "Stop being in bed doing nothing. Come out here and put some cheese inside other types of cheese and melt it over some kind of meat with some bread you fool," says the toaster, or the oven, or another condescending appliance. Cue a million trips to the fridge for countless bites of whatever carb-stuffed snacks or sugary treats are available. For a few months you'll switch to dried fruits and sunflower seeds to push back the inevitable protruding belly, but the craving never really leaves you alone.
20. Being Distracted By Sounds Outside
People just seem to insist on shouting in the middle of the street at around 3.30am about someone called Jenna being less than an upstanding individual, or whether they have salad in their kebab, and who out of the blues and the reds will win the impending football match. Incoherent screeching and yelping will follow this, as half-coherent sentences morph into tongues and the volume increases to unbearable levels.
19. Counting Each Second On The Clock
Time is a slow moving chore to witness in its visual form. During a sleepless night, you'll find yourself wide-awake, staring glumly at whichever kind of clock is in the room. You'll try and turn the clock around but that doesn't help in the slightest. It only emphasises the impact of every passing second.