Few things are certain in life: death, taxes and transfer windows. Every six months the football watching country celebrates its own ridiculousness by having a party to the sound of Jim White shrieking with joy, and Sky Sports celebrating their own importance by introducing the researchers as if they matter. And just as every transfer deadline day you can expect fans to stand in car parks and abuse roving reporters, you can also expect a huge number of lies. The deadline day is built on the same things as theatre, and as soon as the audience starts to acknowledge reality - or the ridiculousness of the situation - things fall apart. But for now, that won't happen. Football fans live for deadline day, flocking to computer screens and TVs, and trading social media "insider knowledge" with woefully unqualified ITKs and opening their ears to the avalanche of bullsh*t that inevitably greets them. Arsene Wenger has already pulled out a whopper, claiming apparently that he didn't actually want Radamel Falcao anyway, so there. And you have to suspect that this will not be the last example of suspicious horse manure that is aired before the end of the window...