Bates Motel: because Hitchcock's adaptation wasn't enough and you needed more psychotic, serial killing, taxidermy madness in your life. It sort of makes you feel whole again as a person, and you get that special tingle deep inside you when you tune in for every episode to satisfy your fix. However, nothing could prepare you for the weirdness that is Norma and Norman's relationship. It is incestuous? Is it spiritual? Is it emotional? Is she just keeping him close because she knows that he's a complete and utter danger to society? Probably. Regardless of what you think is going on, you're just glad that your family doesn't have as much emotional and psychological baggage as the Bates. You're trying your hardest to practise the mind manipulation that they have on one another just so that you'll never have to cook for your partner again. But however you feel about Norman's constantly constipated facial expressions, you have to admit that the contemporary setting and the spectacular performances are to be admired. Everyone seems much more glamorous than Hitchcock's cast and they ignite a sea of colour in a very beige town, particularly Norma during one of her regular breakdowns. The town being both literal (White Pine Bay) and metaphorical (your life) as it gives you something to look forward to on a Wednesday night. You may have questions about how to dispose of a dead body, how to treat your mother with the respect that she deserves, or even and the importance of sustaining a tight family business. Chances are though, you'll be asking these instead.