10 Things WWE Regrets About The Royal Rumble
"This isn't the Rumble I had in mind!"
The Royal Rumble, flawed history and all, is something that unites a fandom at constant odds with one another. No, that WALTER Vs. Joe Coffey match wasn't a merely flawed match. It was uneven well before the botches, you're not looking past the easy kick-out spots, and booking three NXT UK TakeOver cards per year isn't an achievement.
F*ck off.
But the Rumble unites us; a mathematical formula for fun, drama, anticipation and surprises, daft comedy and the most serious storyline stakes imaginable, the hour-plus epic is invariably a spectacle. Even when it's misjudged, even when it actively strives to make us disavow our very fandom, it yields moments of magic - be they a cool, unique Kofi Kingston near-elimination, or a welcome face returning from a cherished yesteryear. On which other night of the year would we ever in loud voice count down with anticipation, knowing there is a high risk of King Corbin emerging from behind the curtain?
We all have regrets about the institution. For example: why do we look forward to it, why must we hurt ourselves when the previous decade yielded no less than six uninspiring winners?
So does the company that promotes it...
10. Super-Sh*tty Staredown
WWE always tried to elevate the rivalry between John Cena and Randy Orton into the pantheon of the legendary - Rock Vs. Austin acting as the clear inspiration.
Much of its failure stems from the year 2009, in which, across all match types, Cena and Orton clashed on no less than five occasions, with four of those matches taking place consecutively from SummerSlam to Bragging Rights. The overkill culminated in - deep breath - a 60 Minute Iron Man Anything Goes, Falls Count Anywhere, No DQ match. Fans were left literally tired by all this, and so any attempts to resuscitate the programme failed spectacularly.
The first such attempt took place during the 2011 Rumble match. Orton entered at #39, and after a brief flurry of eliminations, turned around to face his career nemesis. With hushed breath, fans were meant to savour this meeting of the two legends. They...did not. Instead, they rubbed the sleep out of their eyes. They were seein' double here: two Eric Escobars! There was no palpable emotion to be felt; even apathy was out of reach. They couldn't even bring themselves to groan.
This all changed three years later.
Despite the events of 2011, WWE relegated Daniel Bryan to the midcard, and promoted Cena and Orton as the two biggest stars in the company - the only two worthy of unifying and feuding over the WWE and World Heavyweight Championships. Booed out of the building, the fans didn't even want this match at the Rumble, much less 'Mania, as Cena had optimistically pointed towards in '11.
With one arrogant gesture - we can use this in a hype video! - WWE tainted the aura of their two supposed legends.