10 Times WWE Treated Its Audience Like Children

GOO GOO GAGA!

By Michael Sidgwick /

WWE is geared towards children, and has been for much of its post-expansion existence - but there is a stark difference between involving children as part of the audience, and treating the entire audience as children.

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The balance is managed successfully by Pixar, the films produced by which are vibrant, colourful and heartwarming enough to engage with kids. They are also laden with enough genuine pathos to resonate with adults. The Simpsons appeals to both young kids in thrall to Bart Simpson's bratty nature - and their parents, in thrall to hardcore pornography gags obscured by British idioms.

The balance, driven by Vince McMahon's toxic combination of patronising puerility, is not successfully managed by WWE.

The finish to The Rock N' Sock Connection Vs. Val Venis and the British Bulldog on the October 11, 1999 Monday Night RAW illustrated the mentality perfectly; when Rock levelled Bulldog with the Rock Bottom on a tray of dog sh*t, Michael Cole barked out the words "Not into the dog poop! Rock Bottom, into the dog poop! The dog poop! The dog poop! A Rock Bottom into the dog poop!"

The most self-evident, unfunny sight gag ever just had to be explained...

10. Tug Of War

In wrestling accolades, the line between the perception of prize and prop is as thin as Jinder Mahal's engorged veins. On the WrestleMania 31 go-home RAW, WWE crossed it by depicting the richest prize in the industry like the most cherished toy in the nursery.

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Heyman snarled his threats of brutal conquests with spittle-flying conviction. It was going well. Enter Roman Reigns, apparent WWE megastar babyface. He stared at Lesnar, and then fixed his gaze upon his WWE Heavyweight title.

"That's mine," he mouthed. His daddy, Vince McMahon, had promised him he could play with it, in fairness. Lesnar held it aloft in defiance, just stopping short of shouting "Neh neh neh neh neh". Roman snatched it off him, and thus began the dreaded tug of war, Jesus Christ. Roman was already perceived as an entitled brat. This *didn't* help. The image, risible enough itself, magically conjured something even more ludicrous in the mind's eye: who let go first? Was the teacher just out of shot?

More ludicrous still, we were meant to relate to this squabbling. It was meant to compel us to order the biggest show of the year.

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