10 Times WWE Treated Its Audience Like Children
9. Download THE APP YOU THICK F*CKS, THE A-P-P
The internet revolution bypassed an entire generation of human beings. What many of us take for granted, and find intuitive through years of experience, some find bewildering. For those people, WWE were justified in providing explicit instructions for downloading the WWE App - on the odd occasion, at launch. Since WWE treats us all like dribbling babies, these instructions were barked out ad nauseam.
This is no exaggeration: in attempting to research the content for this piece, having repressed the memory of just how insulting and laborious the instructions were, your writer attempted to re-watch episodes of RAW circa summer/autumn 2013. On every single occasion on which we returned from commercial break, Cole mentioned the App, how to download it, what we missed by not downloading it, and how we could use it to impact upon the viewing experience. The f*cking irony. In audio leaked around this time, even Cole had to clarify the instructions with Vince. "I've said it a sh*tload of times tonight," he fretted.
"WWE Network is just like Netflix!" suggested Kofi Kingston in one of several, utterly unnecessary PSAs. Netflix relies on the primitive intelligence of its users to navigate it.
The WWE Universe, in contrast, are just primates.