10 Times WWE Was Even Dumber Than WCW
LOLWWE, everybody.
Late WCW's storytelling can accurately described as thus: the loose, asinine, genuinely incomprehensible bullsh*t was so loose, asinine, and genuinely incomprehensible that it made you feel dumb. Were you approaching it incorrectly? Were you asking the wrong questions?
You couldn't possibly be watching a promotion with billion-dollar backing die before your very eyes, could you?
You weren't asking the wrong questions. Vince Russo, simply, was gaslighting you, or he would have been, if actually knew what he was doing. Instead, he scribbled down his worked shoot shoot work shoot shoot sh*t, influenced by late-nite cable TV and an apparent hatred of professional wrestling, with no editor. This manifested as storylines in which everything else was fake, but this one was real, except it was fake, because Goldberg refused to follow the script. It was an era in which everything was stuck on a pole, and Mike Awesome once went over via DQ in a match, held under no roles, contested between Ric Flair and Billy Kidman.
WCW, everybody.
Whether through age, CTE, or an inherent, accelerating madness bound to its own whims, WWE is set for its fourth name change, if we're not already there:
WWE, everybody...
10. Gary 'The Goat' Garbutt
"Hey Drew, that janitor actually looks jacked...should we be scared?"
"No. I'll kick his head off, quickly and with ease."
"OK."
And so ends the bizarre tale of Gary 'The Goat' Garbutt.
On the July 8, 2019 RAW, Shane McMahon, in conflict with Roman Reigns, used his power to decide his tag team partner for that night's main event. Being nefarious and that, he selected a janitor he found backstage. This man was tall, and he walked with a limp. Cedric Alexander is average in height, and is a professional athlete in his physical prime. Shane and his partner, Drew McIntyre, ordered Gary to wear a mask.
"Because we're so recognised all over the world, we don't want that to be a burden for you," Shane explained. Shane here handed Roman the gun, complete with bullets, enabling him to concoct a ruse. Except those bullets were blanks, because it was only Cedric Alexander. Cedric hid under the mask, and when he was accidentally tagged in, continued the ruse by feigning terror and attempting to get out of the ring. It was then that the masterplan revealed itself: Cedric unleashed a barrage of explosive offence, and then got dropped with a Claymore Kick flush in the head!
He then unmasked with...a beaming, gotcha smile. Gotcha! I just got my ass kicked, and I'm super happy about it.
Eddie Guerrero used to pull scamp stunts like this, but his catchphrase wasn't "I lie, I cheat, I get my face caved in!"