8 Totally Weird Inanimate Wrestling Sidekicks
Those beloved characters who never loved us back...because they weren't actually alive.
Foreign objects are a staple of wrestling. Brass knuckles, steel chairs, bull ropes, and coconuts have contributed to wrestling history in iconic ways. Some gimmick matches are entirely built around foreign objects. (The "on a pole" series comes to mind.)
Other items become synonymous with various wrestlers through repetition or clever usage. The Undertaker had his urn, The Dudleys their tables. Triple H had his sledgehammer, Sting his bat. Rick Martel basked and blinded with Arrogance, The Beautiful People maced rivals with hair spray. Managers like Jim Cornette and Jimmy Hart followed suit with tennis rackets and megaphones.
Now, those are iconic items - but they're not characters. It's rarer for an inanimate object in wrestling to make an impact as a proper character or part of a storyline, either as a sidekick or foe. In the last year alone, Chris Jericho has proven he can get a clipboard, a pen click, and a scarf over with the fans through sheer force of will. Sadly, those sidekicks rarely helped him win matches.
But they did add to his charm. They became a part of the fabric of wrestling history, and were decidely more successful than the following...
8. Rocco the Dummy
One of the all-time worst decisions in wrestling history saw Vinnie Mac spice up the Legion of Doom by adding a ventriloquist dummy named Rocco to their act. Intended as a connection to the team's roots to help soften their image (!), Rocco was carried to the ring by Paul Ellering, and occasionally perched on the front of a motorcycle as the team roared into the arena.
But no matter how stupid you found this infamous mascot, there's no denying Rocco got a reaction from the crowd. They hated him. Not as much as LOD did, but still. Hawk and Animal hated him so much that they reportedly just left him behind at some airport, claiming he was "mysteriously lost."
No other inanimate sidekick ever came close to generating the mix of disdain and apathy that Rocco did.