The Secret Reason WWE Is Failing

Riddle, Damian Priest, & Keith Lee have all been called up to the main roster of late. Too late...

By Michael Sidgwick /

WWE

Might as well go all in on the burial here: one suspects WWE is at this point inherently incapable of functioning as a good pro wrestling company. Hell, they even resent the designation.

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WWE's problems are self-evident, i.e. not a secret to anybody capable of processing sensory stimuli. The scripting is godawful; every week, something laughable tumbles out of some hapless prick's mouth. Riddle's brain is comprised entirely of sh*t. Randy Orton in literally the same breath can't work out whether he has suffered a first-degree burn or been burnt to "a crisp". On last week's NXT, the brand aimed to get emerging cruiserweight Curt Stallion over as a charming, wistful southern-drawlin' dreamer humble and hard-workin' enough to make the towns. He told the story of how he arrived at his name.

"I'm lookin' out the window and I see tumbleweeds blowin'. So I decided to look up. Know what I see then? Shootin' stars. I follow those shootin' stars with my eyeballs, and at the very end of the skyline there's a big, burnin', bright star in the sky, brightest thing out there. And at that moment I decided, I knew: Curt 'The Lone Star' Stallion. That road I'm travellin' down, it represents the life I wanna lead. It represents freedom."

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Couple of things: what else is he going to follow those shootin' stars with, his f*ckin' feet? And if he wanted a life of freedom, he probably should have signed with AEW so that he didn't have to cut this hilarious scripted promo.

The booking is largely awful.

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