WWE WrestleMania 34: 10 Most Insane Things That Happened!
The Most WWE Show To Ever WWE.
What was sane about WrestleMania 34?
WWE furthered the Sasha Banks Vs. Bayley rivalry in what otherwise was a fairly dire Women's WrestleMania Battle Royal, a contrived match notable for its naff comedy spots and cringe-worthy suck-up "NXT" chants. Cedric Alexander claimed the Cruiserweight Championship in an overblown but well-worked match wrestled with cheesy theatrics magnified by its inconsequential card placement. The duelling cries of "heart!" and "soul!" felt more in keeping with the dramatic climax of a 1980s martial arts movie than a 12 minute wrestling match designed to welcome a crowd.
The opening match proper, the brilliant Intercontinental Title Triple Threat Match between The Miz, Seth Rollins and Finn Bálor, set a daunting tone the rest of the card, through its throat-tearing length and absolutely bizarre booking, was unable to maintain. The redemption story of Nia Jax was the only viable ending. That match, elevated by Alexa Bliss' great selling, did not overstay its welcome, at least. WWE did not throw away months' worth of steady Bludgeon Brothers build, in an atypically logical development. They threw away a three-year arc later on in the night.
Beyond that, we were beyond the looking glass here, people...
10. Bray Wyatt Returns, Unreincarnated
Imagine you're Bray Wyatt.
Your character showed promise, initially. You were the successor to the greatest and most enduring gimmick in the history of modern wrestling. Then the defeats happened. Wins and losses don't matter, except you're a God who can't see them coming, rendering you an utter dunce. A broad and useless creative regime ruins your mystique through supernatural schlock and your one-dimensional role as a Deus Ex Machina. Everybody loses faith in the preposterous character you once somehow got over.
Meanwhile, your employer breaks the habit of a lifetime, and allows an entire presentation created outside of its walls to air unabated in the main event of its flagship TV show. This feels like fate. This property boasts a "Lake of Reincarnation," theme presenting to WWE a literally endless pool of new ideas with which to come back anew and remove a stigma of disgrace. This can't be overstated: through only some fault of your own, nobody takes you seriously.
You can become anything. You worked hard throughout your run, and never really complained, so your karmic balance surely positions you for a rethink. You re-debut on the Grandest Stage of Them All. It's a good start!
And then you come back as Bray Wyatt, again, only a babyface. Once you're separated from Matt Hardy - and this is inevitable, since your employer seems to be embarrassed by him, too - your verbiage will evolve from gibberish to lame.
What a waste of a much-needed career reset this was.