10 Holidays To Not Invite A Superhero To

By Ian Boucher /

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When inviting a superhero to anything, several points need to be taken into consideration. There are of course the immediate questions like €œDo his or her enemies know I€™m friends with him or her?€ or €œWill my not knowing his or her secret identity cause any dramatic irony?€ or €œAm I being too spunky by arranging this dinner on my own right next to the arch-nemesis€™s house?€ or €œHow can I make sure the hero pays their portion of the bill before they have to leave unexpectedly?€ Yet one of the most important things to consider is any emotional baggage a superhero may be carrying. Since superheroes are by definition larger than life, their reactions to things are larger than life as well. It€™s no wonder that many superheroes prefer to hang out with other superheroes rather than average people, because if one of them gets upset they can smash a colleague through a wall or make threats with knives in their hands with virtually no consequences. Even if a hero should ever just feel awkward at a party, you can bet things would be exponentially more awkward than if it was an average human. Superheroes usually end up tearing things apart wherever they go, especially when they€™re at fancy parties. This brings us to holidays (yes, this is relevant; there€™s always a holiday around the corner). Holidays can come with their own problems for anybody, whether through memories of emotional sore spots or general logistics and timing, so for superheroes, this territory is much more treacherous. Heck, Batman alone has enough problems with holidays on his own time which cause him to dress up as a bat and go outside every night without criminals like The Calendar Man coming along and making EVERY holiday a problem (well, to be fair, The Calendar Man usually only makes holiday problems that are already happening anyway more difficult as opposed to creating his own). Therefore, for any superhero, scheduling any commemorative social event with fellow superheroes must be one of the most delicate tasks of all, and one that mere mortals can only speculate about. After all, many superheroes are only a hair€™s breadth away from being supervillians. Click €œnext€ for just 10 notes every superhero should keep on their refrigerator and check every time before picking up the phone.