The Hype: In fairness, there was always a healthy air of skepticism surrounding a Michael Bay-produced, live-action Turtles film, and rightly so. Still, with a steady stream of amusing trailers, it seemed like hack director Jonathan Liebesman might actually pull off a fun if unconventional update of the classic franchise, and Megan Fox seemed like a surprisingly decent fit despite her much-complained about casting as reporter April O'Neil. The Reality: Sadly, the final result succumbs to Bay's worst creative instincts (even though, bear in mind, he didn't write the script): product placement runs rampant, and there's some creepily crude sexual humour, as Michelangelo makes constant references to how much he wants to bang April ("she's so hot I can feel my shell tightening"). Throw in a woefully forgettable plot, an abusive misuse of the brilliant William Fichtner in the villain role, and only one single decent action sequence, and it's a recipe for a complete disaster of a Hollywood blockbuster. To its credit, the voice work of the Turtles is rock-solid, and Will Arnett is hilarious as April's cameraman Vernon, but on the whole it just doesn't even begin to live up to the fun of its source material.