10 Incredibly Bland Movies For Bland People

10. The Fog

Hollywood’s Devil worshipers had the formula for a successful fright flick down cold: some pretty actors from television in their first lead roles, a budget in the $5-20 million range to ensure profitability, enough special effects to entertain a caffeinated twelve-year-old and a script written in crayon by Sloth from The Goonies.

In 2005, they sat down and said to each other: “Remember that John Carpenter film about the haunted fishing village? Here’s the remake: it’s Clark Kent and his African-American sidekick versus the ghosts from Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed. With a wimp rock soundtrack. From the director of MC Hammer’s U Can’t Touch This video!”

Most of The Fog’s cast either weren’t born or were still in diapers when Carpenter’s film came out, but hopefully they caught it on television. Hopefully someone did, although there’s not much evidence of that in the finished film. Antonio Bay has become Spooky Island, where kids know best and all the adults are corrupt, so it’s a shame that the teenage leads don’t drive around in a van solving mysteries.