10 King Kong Movies Ranked Worst To Best

10. Queen Kong

Laughable in every respect apart from when it attempts to be funny, this no-budget sex comedy knock-off of Dino de Laurentiis’s King Kong remake is so lame-brained and amateurish you can’t imagine anyone queuing up to see it. In fact, viewers never had the chance – “legal difficulties” meant it was never released theatrically and remained unseen until its DVD debut twenty-five years later.

Rula Lenska is looking for a “real man” to star in her jungle adventure film, but in 70s England the best she can find is Robin Askwith, who also played Timothy Lea in the Confessions movies. Venturing to “Lazanga, where they do the konga”, Askwith is kidnapped by the bikinied natives who want him as a mate for their goddess, Queen Kong.

Throughout the film, the score sounds like ersatz Benny Hill Show theme music, which is apt because Queen Kong is basically an overextended sketch, filled with dreadful puns (“so that’s gorilla warfare!”), casual sexism and politically incorrect ‘humour’. Oddest of all is the end credits song, which includes the couplet, “You would stop yelling ‘rape’/ If I was just an ordinary household ape.”