9. Joe Son - Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery
The only reason I didn't open with this one is that I hate opening on a sour note. Joe Son is now known for a lot more than just his short-lived acting career and disastrous UFC appearance: he's now a convicted felon and murderer. Lets back-track just a little here. See, Joe Son was basically my first exposure to the sport of MMA, and at the time, I was less than impressed. It wasn't a great fight to see as a first-time viewer. To be very honest, someone showed up at my house back when I was in high school with a tape of UFC action. It had UFC 3 and 4. I remember we watched two bouts (probably that friend fast-forwarding to them saying "check this out!!" in an excited teenage boy way). One had Kimo Leopoldo, who Son was "manager" for, walk to the cage carrying a large cross. The other had Son take about 4 to 5 solid punches to the privates. Only it didn't seem like 4 to 5 punches to a teenage boy, it looked like about a dozen, like the most painful thing ever, and I personally wanted to fall to the ground yelling "ow my balls!" I didn't bother with MMA for quite a while after that (til it became more sport than spectacle), but Joe Son? Well, as an MMA fighter, he pretty much sucked, and retired 0-4 (three of those four bouts came in 2002, years after his 1994 UFC appearance). As an actor? He found himself cast as "Random Task" in the first Austin Powers movie, a send-up of Bond's Odd Job. He also played the bad guy in a Lorenzo Lamas movie. Nothing says huge like a Lamas flick. Years later, while pleading guilty to a minor charge, Son would provide a DNA sample that would link him to a brutal rape. Due to the statute of limitations having expired, he was instead charged with torture, sent to prison - and then wound up accused of killing a cellmate. That's some resume.