7. Almost Anything That Can be Called "Mumblecore" Non-Ironically
The thing about the vast majority of these movies is that they only seem to exist to give fodder to the people who, in 2014, still spend time whining about the hipster strawman they've created in their head to represent "things I don't personally like." They can't possibly serve any other purpose. Maybe you grow a dwarf beard in the summer; maybe you know people in folk bands; maybe you wear a keffiyeh and worry about it being culturally appropriative but still wear it anyway; maybe you own "Transaction de Novo." On vinyl. Maybe you go to art galleries for more than just the free wine... you'd still be hard-pressed to find a single person who actually enjoys these indistinguishably quirky coffee house conversation pieces. You are a person reading movie lists on the internet and, based on the law of averages, probably own a pair of skinny jeans - do you know anybody that likes Baghead? Hannah Takes the Stairs? Tiny Furniture? Of course you don't. None of these movies have higher viewer scores than critic scores on any website you can find. They are what The Average Joe pictures when they think of an "indie movie." The worst thing about the genre is that mumblecore movies that can't even be parodied, because the movies themselves already seem like parodies of something that you might not have seen but totally know you would hate. Watch trailers for any Duplass brothers' film, just pick one at random, and you will immediately realise it is the kind of thing you'd expect to see if that one guy from SNL and the guitarist from Sleater-Kinney ever made a Grindhouse homage and needed some fake trailers to wedge in between their entries. Speaking of which...