10 Summer Blockbuster Movies That Should Never Have Happened

10. Van Helsing

Stephen Sommers is a director from the Michael Bay school of filmmaking who thinks that more is more and you can never have too much of ….well, everything. With him at the helm, Van Helsing quickly becomes interminable as Sommers piles one noisy, repetitive action sequence on top of another and, for bad measure, gives the material a camp attitude.

Whether they’re a deformed hunchback or a Vatican priest, every character gets the same lame, painfully unfunny dialogue. When a man transforms into a werewolf, someone says, “Why does it smell like wet dog in here?” Someone tells Frankenstein’s monster: “I don’t know if you’ve seen a mirror lately, but you stick out in a crowd.”

Throw in a comic relief sidekick for Dracula (played by Kevin J O’Connor, who was also the annoying sidekick in The Mummy and Deep Rising) and you’ve got a film on the level of Scooby Doo! Where Are You? All that’s missing is a climactic unmasking.