10 Worst Rock Music Film Biopics Ever
Grab your popcorn for ten rock ’n’ roll celluloid suicides.
Theoretically a jukebox musical should be an easy sell at the box office because people will flock to a movie stuffed with their favourite band’s hits. Mamma Mia is a slight and frothy story but it works because ABBA’s infectious music does much of the heavy lifting.
Similarly, Yesterday, a story about a miracle of sorts falling into the lap of Rami Malik’s hapless songwriter, gave us a film about The Beatles which isn’t really about The Beatles but still gives us all the songs anyway.
But what if you can’t be bothered to string an original story together? Why not make a rock biopic? You still get a soundtrack stuffed with hits but also some fun period fashion and a bit of rock’ n’ roll excess thrown in. This worked wonders for Bohemian Rhapsody (Queen) and Rocketman (Elton John). Love And Mercy saw Paul Dano and John Cusack earn plaudits for both playing Brian Wilson at different points in his life.
On the other end of the spectrum, there are the biopics that miss the mark entirely. Whether it be bad performances, shocking wigs and make-up or just needless factual inaccuracy, here are ten terrible rock biopics to make you want to burn your record collection.
10. The Dirt
Mötley Crüe don’t come out of their autobiography The Dirt looking good, and they wrote it. The book details a string of misogyny, violence, extra-marital affairs and other abhorrent behaviour. At one point bassist Nikki Sixx all but confesses to rape.
Meanwhile, singer Vince Neil killed Nick “Razzle” Dingley of Hanoi Rocks in a car accident because he was drink driving. There’s a reason The Guardian published an article called “Why Mötley Crüe’s demise benefits humanity.”
The movie adaptation basically paints them as a bunch of well meaning rascals who can’t help getting into scrapes. With boobs! It’s like the kids from American Pie started a glam rock band and, without learning any lessons on how to treat women, lived out their wildest high school fantasies.
It’s not that drinking, drug abuse, cheating on and hitting women are condoned in the movie, but neither is the band really condemned for their actions They made some mistakes along the way but they meant well, probably, and alls well that ends well, right?
Director Jeff Tremaine, of Bad Grampa and Jackass fame, has presented a cuddly, bawdy Carry On version of the band. That’s if there was a Carry On movie called Carry On Treating Women Like Objects.