Before Nick Fury was black, he was white. In this TV movie titled Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., the white version of this Samuel L. Jackson-famous character was embodied by David Hasselhoff, because that's the sort of thing David Hasslehoff was doing in the '90s. Hasselhoff plays Nick Fury like he's genuinely a character from a comic book who has suddenly found himself transported from the page and into the real world. Which is fine, because it's kind of fun to watch him channelling Snake Plissken and saying things like "I'll get that vampire's blood if I have to suck it from her neck." The plot involves Fury coming out of retirement - which, for some reason, he has opted to spend secluded in an old mine - to battle HYDRA, who are threatening to unleash a deadly virus on Manhattan unless they get US $1 billion (pay attention, Weatherman). Fury accomplishes most of his objectives by forward rolling into things. Believe it or not, this thing was scripted by David S. Goyer, who later went on to work comic book magic as one of the writers of Christopher Nolan's Batman movies, which we all think are amazing. And to be fair, the special effects aren't too bad (for a '90s TV movie, at least), though that's certainly not a recommendation for you to watch this. Never watch this.