13 Dumb Decisions In Jurassic Park Movies We Can't Forgive
That talking raptor will be seared in our brains for eternity.
A sixth Jurassic Park film is on the way! Whether you liked the last film or not, it's always fun to see dinosaurs on a big screen tearing each other (and humans) apart for our amusement.
From the spectacular Steven Spielberg outings to the dividing Colin Trevorrow (directed and produced) installments, we've been dazzled, delighted and horrified by the adventures on screen.
After five movies (so far), the series has taken a number of bizarre turns, and while a few have been greatly received, there have been a number of crashes in the series. These could have flattened the franchise, and the big ones almost killed them forever, and in their honour its best we address them.
The filmmakers behind the Jurassic Park movies have made some wild decisions over the years, and most of them have been downright dumb. Whether it was to appease fans, or serve a greater purpose in the franchise is yet to be seen, but in the meantime they are just gosh-darned awful.
Let's take a look at twelve decisions from the Jurassic Park movies that were so dumb that we have to question where the heads of the people who made them were at.
13. The Mitchell Brothers' Backstory - Jurassic World
If a Jurassic Park film is compelled to put kid characters in the story to add tension, the least the film can do is make the characters likable.
In the three previous installments before Jurassic World, the kid characters' relationship to the heroic grownups was established and that was it. We didn't need to know what Tim and Lex' home-life was like, Kelly's broken relationship with Ian was made clear earlier, and Eric Kirby's life was explained by his parents.
What audiences didn't need to see in Jurassic World (in the first scene no less), was a weird expository backstory behind Gray and Zach Mitchell, Claire's nephews. The divorce of their parents ultimately doesn't mean anything, and Zach's weird staring competitions with clusters of teenage girls is not only uncomfortable but is never addressed in the films.
Gray (the younger brother) is arguably the most consistent, and if we're all being honest, would have worked better alone. If the script punched his character up to be a little more impulsive, Zach could have been cut out entirely.
But fundmanetally, we didn't need to know the family lives of these kids. They're Claire's nephews who are taking a VIP tour of the park. Enough said.