San Andreas has just landed worldwide and the critical consensus seems to be that while it's sorely lacking in substance, it's certainly not short on spectacle. It's got falling skyscrapers, tsunamis and The Rock's shoulders, all of which inspire gasps of shock and uncomprehending horror from the movie-going masses. It's big and it's loud, and unfortunately, as is so often the case with such fare, it's very, very dumb. The script is terrible, the characters do incredibly stupid things and physics itself wipes its hands of the whole affair, saying "nope." Even as the world is crumbling around the characters' eyes, the writers still find room for cheesy gags, lingering boob shots and moments of flag-waving patriotism that border on the hilarious. There are bizarre cameos, pointless deaths by the thousands, and moments of forced sentimentality that make you roll your eyes so hard, they almost pop out like champagne cocks. So, in other words, it's a Hollywood blockbuster through and through, and if that's not your thing, fair enough. Instead of shelling out on a ticket, allow yourself to enjoy this comprehensive list of the films biggest OMG, "seriously" and "for the love of god make it stop" moments. SPOILERS from here on in.