6. If You See Uwe Bolls Name In The Opening Credits
Uwe Boll is probably the undisputed king of the lowest common denominator but youd be forgiven for not actually knowing who he is. Youd be forgiven, and youd also be blessed. For to know Uwe Bolls name is to have experienced truly, unequivocally, eye-gougingly terrible cinema. Have you ever wondered what it might be like to drown in human faeces? Well, sitting down to a Boll movie is probably about the closest you can get without it actually happening. And trust me, its as unpleasant as it sounds. If you were a fan of Segas long running House of the Dead video game series, you might have been fooled into paying money to see Uwe Bolls movie version (which he directed and produced) which was released back in 2003. And seventeen scalding hot showers later you might have finally washed away the disdain, as well as the top 3 layers of your skin. If youre ever watching a movie and you see Uwe Bolls name in the opening credits (typically he focuses his attention on video game adaptations, like House of the Dead, or the diabolical Bloodrayne series; but hes tried his hand at other genres too, with similar nausea-inducing results), then stand up, yell Fire! at the top of your lungs, and run toward the theatre exit as fast as possible. Trust me: whatever the consequences, youll be doing humanity a great service.