9 Suffering Film Franchises That Need The Old Yeller Treatment
4. The Lord of The Rings/The Hobbit
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Anyone who ever wanted to watch a dinner party play out in real-time got their wish and then some when Peter Jackson unleashed the lumbering behemoth that was The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. Having conquered Hollywood with his epic Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Jackson faced a seemingly insurmountable dilemma: how to squeeze more profit from the juiced lemon that was the Lord of the Rings franchise. The answer: pilfer Tolkien's back catalogue. However, this presented an even bigger conundrum. Tolkien's second most famous work, The Hobbit, being only a quarter of the size of Lord of The Rings, provided hardly enough material for one feature length film let alone the bloated three hour marathons Jackson's fans had come to expect from him. Not one to let taste, common sense, or, decency stand in his way, Jackson solved his quandary by stretching each plot point in The Hobbit into portions so gargantuan they'd choke a bull elephant. Audiences thrilled as Frodo checked the mail in real-time. And who will soon forget the marvelous spectacle of the dinner plate stacking scene (all five minutes of it)? Who knows what else Jackson has in store for us in the next two installments of his new trilogy? Perhaps we can all hold our breathes in anticipation at the jaw-dropping Gandalf forgets to pack swimming trucks scene? Or, fingers-crossed, the dwarves stop at a gas station to ask for directions scene? Or, Jackson could do what's right, take the dribbling husk of the rabid franchise out back, and blast it into franchise heaven.