DRAGON WARS (D-WAR)

By Michael J Edwards / June 24, 2011

Written & Directed by: Hyung-rae Shim Starring: Jason Behr, Amanda Brooks, Robert Forster, Craig Robinson, Chris Mulkey, John Ales, Elizabeth Pena Distributed by Sony Pictures Available at Amazon for $15.99 RIGHT NOW. Available at Play.com for £8.99 from May 19th 2008! Review by Michael Edwards The stellar cast of this B-Movie throwback include such big names as... uhhh... ummm... well people you'll remember from... hmmmm. Well it has people in it. And explosions! And a giant snake! And that's about it. The plot is a ridiculous legend about a magical glowing thing that turns serpents into dragons, and a bad snake wants it really badly. But in Korea in the sixteenth century he fails to get it, when it is about to return on the twentieth birthday of a girl in New York all hell breaks loose and this evil serpent returns to claim this magical glowing thingy, become a dragon and destroy the world. The idea is that there is a grandiose legend being played out here, and no small budget to accompany it with all the glorious special effects it needs. But frankly the idea that the story makes this film in any way watchable is ridiculous. The dialogue is spurious and the acting just about worthy of it. The whole production is frankly laughable. But that's what makes it great! There's an army of medieval warriors with bullet-proof suits of armour, dinosaur type creatures with rocket launchers on their back, small dragons fighting with helicopters. The list goes on and on. And the stupidity of the dialogue is sheer comedy gold. When the evil serpent slithers up the side of a building to catch the 19 year-old who is key to the production of the aforementioned magical glowing thing the whole city watches in horror. We cut to he inside of a police car as the cop fumbles for his radio and urgently relays the message "I need backup, we have a Code 3!". A Code 3!!! I mean seriously, when thinking up the codes for police emergencies what crazy messed-up cop would suggest a giant snake crushing a skyscraper is the third most likely emergency?! A host of appalling inconsistencies, ridiculous emotional moments and a reincarnated mentor named Jack who runs an antique store and has the ability to shape shift, as well as turn up at opportune moments, are more than enough to keep you laughing in between the bountiful selection of CGI explosions, cars hurtling through the air, and stuff getting engulfed by fireballs. Not since the 1980s have I witnessed such pointless, hilarious and gratuitous use of special effects. I'm calling this a classic movie of the genre that any self-respecting fan of action, irony or kitsch has to own.

rating: 4

If you like special effects and appreciate meaningless explosions...

rating: 1

... if you don't EXTRAS A '5,000 Years in the Making' documentary providing an absurd level of hype for the crap behind this film, as well as some cool bits about the special effects. 'Storyboard Comparisons' which let the viewer see how faithful the oh-so beautiful plot was to its original conception, but also a chance to see how the pre-production folk managed to doodle so many explosions and zany action scenes. A 'Concept Art Gallery' which is just like one of those cool graphic art books with pictures of dragons and guys with swords that were around in the 80's. And the obligatory trailers.

rating: 2

Dragon Wars is released on DVD in the UK on 19th of May.