Oh lordy, lordy, lordy. 20th Century Fox have announced that the fifth film in the Die Hard franchise will be called, and I kid you not, A Good Day to Die Hard. Jesus f'n Yippee-ki-yay Christ. Of course the Die Hard series has always been notorious for picking the most ludicrous sequel titles (Die Harder, Live Free or Die Hard... wtf) but this one is truly astonishing and perhaps the villain of the new movie should be Fox chief Tom Rothman. Now that would be A Good Day to Die Hard. Fox have also announced that Bruce Willis will be returning as John McClane on Valentine's Day, February 14th 2013. Not at Christmas, not a Summer time blockbuster but counter-programming for the most romantic day on the film calendar. Of course the release date in of itself is not a horrible idea if the movie is themed around Valentine's Day, just like the first Die Hard is themed around Christmas. But going for the alternative thing to whatever chick flick is opening that day, I'm not sure that's a good idea. Certainly in my household I wouldn't win that battle if say Hitch 2 with Will Smith (which isn't happening but just an example) was opening that day. February 14th is one of the rare weekends my girlfriend chooses what movie to go and see and I'm sure it's the same for most couples. So where do we stand here? A Good Day To Die Hard (which sounds like a Funny or Die skit, no?) will be directed by Hollywood hack John Moore (Max Payne, The Omen & Flight of the Phoenix remakes) from a draft by Hollywood hack screenwriter Skip Woods (The A-Team, X-Men Origins: Wolverine). The movie will be set in Russia because Bruce Willis has a lucrative bank deal in that country.... again I'm not making this up. The plot will revolve around his son though some sources say two sons but definitely at least who is banged up in Russia and McClane goes to bail him out, only to realise they are terrorists who have been holding him hostage. McClane's first kid hasn't been seen since the original Die Hard but he did get an offhand mention in the last film and was actually originally written to be Justin Long's computer geek character but then they changed their mind towards the final drafts. McClane's daughter Lucy was in that film with Mary Elizabeth Winstead playing her but she has recently said she won't be appearing this time as she didn't sign up for further sequels. Lucky her. I don't know about Long but with the film being in Russia it would take a hell of a contrivance to get him into this story. Production begins on location in Russia this January so expect casting of the villain, McClane's son and the rest of the supporting players soon. I would love to hear your thoughts on A Good Day To Die Hard which for me couldn't be shaping up to be any worse. See my previous article Hollywood Hack John Moore Is Bruce Willis Bitch as DIE HARD 5 Director for all you need to know about why this movie is doomed.