Oliver reviews the disgusting, offensive, demoralising, lazy, and thoroughly debauched Uwe Boll movie POSTAL

By Oliver Pfeiffer /

€˜Disgusting, Offensive. Stupid€™ is the tagline that dons the DVD menu intro of Uwe Boll€™s video game adaptation and absurdist post 9/11 parody of western politics POSTAL. Whilst viewing this film you realise not just how truthful that tagline painfully rings but how understated it is. For this movie isn€™t just disgusting, offensive and stupid, but demoralising, lazy, and thoroughly debauched. The film€™s official tagline is more to the point: €˜Some comedies go too far€others start there€™. Hell POSTAL makes SCARY MOVIE 4 look like CITIZEN KANE! From what I can gather the plot (what there is of it), concerns an unemployed average Joe (Zack Ward) - now pegged Postal Dude after he is wrongfully linked to crimes - who turns to his petty penised uncle Dave (Dave Foley) for support. Dave is the founder of an apocalyptic cult but spends most of his time philandering worshipping Playboy Bunnies. Together they hatch onto a money making scheme to steal some popular phallus shaped toy dolls and sell for mass consumption. Coincidently the Taliban are also onto the some idea and thus a power game endues between the reckless Bin Laden (Larry Thomas) and co and the bumbling duo. Admittingly the funniest idea that former critic (God help us!) and German satirist Boll (responsible for a herd of other poorly rated video-game adaptations) has up his sleeve is the unique pairing of Bin Laden with a bemused €˜you know me spelling and all!€™ G.W €˜Georgie€™ Bush, (played by predominate Bush impersonator Brent Mendenhall). The two are in cahoots during the entire movie, often leading to some funny moments of self-parodic banter, which reach a crescendo toward the climax when they skip together hand-in-hand toward a mushroom booming sunset. The rest of the film however is mostly an unfunny mess of crude celebrity cameos, (the likes of Verne €˜Mini Me€™ Troyer being raped by monkeys €“ don€™t ask! and an utterly embarrassed to be involved in this shit J.K Simmons) and lame jokes that veer off toward the usual toilet humour (a 20+ stone women getting fucked in a furiously tilting trailer). Terrorism and religion often make for easy-target, ill-judged satirised subjects at the best of times (TEAM AMERICA and BORAT are the notable exceptions) but when laughs are expected to be evoked from the sight of carnage involving children being mowed down by the Taliban its hard not to be disgusted or offended by the results. Don€™t get me wrong I love my parody (AIRPLANE! and THE NAKED GUN series are firm gems of the genre), but when its dished up with such a lack of €˜good€™ bad taste and includes dubious slapdash gags that would make even the Wayan Brothers cringe then I simply don€™t have much faith in the blatant, self-indulgent results. POSTAL premiered in the UK at the London FrightFest Film Festival, and it is a true horror in every sense of the word €“ can€™t wait for that sequel guys!

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EXTRAS

A cringe-worthy director€™s commentary, behind the scenes fodder and a trailer €“ all appropriately patchy

VERDICT

Giving the likes of The Wayans and Dennis Dugan a run for their money in so bad its bad parodic stupidity is not a good thing to uphold. Mr Poopie pants strikes again!