We all remember it, dont we? The moment Susan Boyle waddled out on stage having been patronised by Ant and Dec, looking like a can of corned beef beneath a pensioners merkin? She blew away the audience and sneering charmless judges with a bellowing classic from Les Miserables and thus won a nations and then a worlds hearts, didnt she? Well, no, not quite. In spite of the fact that few people have enjoyed the pleasure of never having seen the youtube clip that launched the worlds biggest walking anti-virginity advert into stardom, relatively few people saw the original programme in question. The reason for this is fairly straight-forward, while Simon Cowells X-Factor may receive the sort of viewing figures that make one yearn for a world war to cleanse this generation of its unrepentant vacuity, the majority of people were either out or doing something far more worthwhile in addition to reproaching X Factor viewers for their shallowness. No, it was in offices, on news bulletins and in tedious small-talk that an unwelcoming public had to endure this soul-crushingly mundane sequence of events related as though they had borne witness to the fall of the Berlin Wall. And, so, as though we were interested, the same agencies kept us updated on this unwitting womans journey from middle-aged cat lady to a house-hold name on both sides of the Atlantic. Now, just when we had become accustomed to this mania although it were pedestrian, the ante appears to have been upped with the announcement in that ever reliable of publications, Rupert Murdochs The Sun. Yes, according to the second least reputable of News Corps outlets- a special place must always be reserved for Faux News- the much feared biopic of the Scottish mezzo-soprano appears to be on the horizon, and no less an actress than Glenn Close has been singled out as favourite for the lead role. Now, as Family Guy once put it, Glenn Close is a handsome woman, although nearly 15 years older than Boyle.Apparently, she has sealed the role ahead of Boyles own choice, Rab C Nesbitts Elaine C. Smith. The Sun attributed the following quote from their supposed source:
"Glenn has played some imposing women in the past including Cruella DeVille and Alex Forrest, who boils the pet rabbit in Fatal Attraction. But might just be her biggest role yet."
If this statement is indicative, then Close actually playing this part is as likely as Boyle being head-hunted by Playboy, never-the-less, stranger things have happened in cinema. And if the X Factor has proved anything, its that no matter how brazenly vulgar and tawdry a product, there is a broad and lucrative market for it. Hollywood thrives on such knowledge.