Stop The Presses, Transformers 5 Has A Title

Your childhoods will next be ruined by Transformers: The Last Knight.

By Simon Gallagher /

Paramount Pictures

Good news everyone, the news Transformers movie has a title. The latest addition to Michael Bay's ridiculously lucrative movie franchise will be called Transformers: The Last Knight.

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Presumably, that refers back to the revelation in the last movie that Optimus Prime was a member of the mythical group known as the Knights Of Cybertron, who were the first Cybertronians. It's all very convoluted and has the potential to be the toy movie equivalent of the Da Vinci Code.

Only, like, with Michael Bay making sure everything explodes and the Mona Lisa has giant robo testicles or something.

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Seriously, who keeps watching these movies? They're now lead by a Mark Wahlberg, with the quite incredible name of Cade Yeager (ripped from the Nic Cage character naming guide), and have jumped the shark several times over.

It would appear that this time, they could be adapting the plot of the Transformers: Prepare For Battle theme park ride, and while the presence of Iron Man writers Arc Marcum and Matt Holloway (plus Black Hawk Down's Ken Nolan) should be a bonus, it's hard to see anything other than another ridiculous, over-blown kids movie on steroids.

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Hopefully there'll be a big religious allegory that has Optimus Prime reimagined as a robo-Jesus Christ figure, because we might as well throw all caution to the wind and just go absolutely full batsh*t crazy. It's not like the movie won't still make a billion dollars.

Production is expected to start on June 6th, with Wahlberg being joined by Isabela Moner and Jerrod Carmichael.

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Are you excited to see Transformers: The Last Knight? Share your reactions below in the comments thread.