12. When Other People Pretend To Be Interested In Guitar
So you meet someone new and eventually the conversation moves onto the fact that you play the guitar. This is the time where you can really let rip the full level of geek you normally hide from the rest of the world as they're probing and asking more questions - they must be genuinely interested. So you rattle off a list of influences, your style, what you play, bands you are/have been in and then after half an hour of you prattling on, you ask what they like about the guitar and all you get back is "they're pretty cool, they look nice". The fact that you let them walk away with their jaw intact makes it the luckiest thing on the planet.
11. Performing Monkey Syndrome
As guitarists we love to perform, it's the nature of the instrument and the nature of the ego that wants to play it, but there are some times where we just want to kick back, relax and have fun. And fun you can have, until someone inevitably produces a guitar, points you out and everyone around you demands that you play them something (this usually happens at student parties). So you play them the mournful blues ballad that you've been working on while trying to navigate an unfamiliar instrument with rusted strings, but all you get is blank looks. Then someone - usually drunk - will yell out "Play us something we know" - as if you're psychic - and so you end up playing a cobbled together version of Wonderwall to appease the drunken masses as you die a little inside.
10. Guitars As Ornaments
There is nothing that riles a guitarist more than people who buy guitars to simply hang them on the wall as some kind of kitschy, hipster decoration. It's an insult to the instrument quite frankly, but the worst part about it is the guitars people use as decorations are usually fairly expensive and out of the reach of most guitarist's means. The fact that they're often rendered unplayable because they're affixed to a wall with a screw through the neck just makes it worse. The horror...