Headlines in Des Moines in February covered the story of a woman named Jane Olney who was arrested after kicking her daughter. And its wasnt just regular child abuse in this case. Olney was drunk on none other than hand sanitizer. Delicious. While jokes were made about Olney getting off clean and making it through the cold and flu period, the story had quite a sad ending in that the daughter had to go and live with her grandfather while Olney was carted away. Note to self kids: you can probably get cider for cheaper than you can hand sanitizer, so don't be fooled into thinking this is a money making scheme for Friday night drinking.